Today I’m feeling ‘Uh’
I don’t totally know why either.
Well maybe I do…
I think its probably a mixture of things, like its that time of the Moon phase for me, so my stomach feels pregnant with 10 kids, my back is breaking, my hips have gone Kapput and I think I’m just going through some shifts after my psychology appointment last week.
I don’t like feeling this way,
I really quite fancy hiding in a hole, or just under my duvet, reading books and hiding out, I’ll build a fort and do some colouring.
I’ll make a mess that I don’t have to clean up…ah that’s bliss I reckon, right there…not having to clean up all the mess in the house!
I’m a bit bored of being an adult at the moment, my soul wants to shine the way a child’s does.
I watch my beautiful kids and see the joy they see in the world, I need more of that in my life.
What am I on about?…
I have that in my life, I totally love to enjoy the wonders of our world.
I’m so lucky to live in a great neighbourhood, I’ve got trees at the bottom of my garden, birds & squiggles & hedgepigs reside in my garden.
I’ve just discovered we have a Wood Pigeon nest in the tree on our front lawn, I’m so super excited to have baby birdies in such close proximity.
Its a magical thing to witness, the mummy and daddy bird are flying in and out to build the nest and if your’e quiet and calm you can even peek at them loving each other, paying close attention to their task at hand.
But still today, I’m sat inside,
even though the sun is shining,
I’m at my desk zoning in at my laptop, whilst the sun is shining outside.
I just can’t seem to get the motivation to do very much, I got the kids up, dressed and off to school & for today that is enough.
I’ll pick them up later and probably spend the late afternoon in the garden playing with them both…..
So right now I think I’m allowed to do not very much,
I’m beating myself up thinking I ‘should’ & ‘ought’ to accomplish x, y and z, but for now I’m just going to be me……and that’s OK!
Just typing these feelings here has helped.
I need to vocalize my thoughts. I don’t necessarily want to shout them from the roof tops but just get them out.
I feel better for letting them out.